relational disorder

plan what you need/want
evaluate what it takes
do it right
don't expect more than your creation was designed for

Simple enough guide for construction, right?

What if we fancy our relationships as buildings?

In that view, a landscape littered with so many ill fitting (to the purpose), poorly built and unfinished or mostly destroyed buildings is a bit depressing, is it not?

I found this mental picture when thinking about how watching an intimate relationship being intentionally destroyed is so very painful. The "I willingly started this with you but now I desperately want you to abandon me so I'll blow apart what we made, every connection we have, every foundation for your happiness..." behavior that I have seen a few big examples of lately... got me thinking about how unintentional, unaware, or lazy many people seem to be about relationships of all sorts.

I've come up with a new way to think about my own relationships.

Chirping Birdie Tickle-My-Soul Day

I have a joy to share: my horrible inherited problem weed-overgrown flower gardens are about to burst with lilies, are safely harboring some beautiful steadily growing coral portulacas, I see many wild but welcome columbine sprouts - and I have a profusion of opening buds on my peony bush! The hostas are flourishing.... all the various irises I've collected bloomed beautifully this year. :) Does anyone want some lily-of-the-valley? They are beautiful in spring and a nice 8" bed cover but spread tightly through the roots! My rose bed (I planted starts only last year!) has given me a beautiful show.. our basil and chives are both growing well so I am hatching a design for more herbs plus corn and beans along the backyard fence. :D Tomatoes,cukes, peppers and pumpkins are all looking healthy. We have a long way to go but it is finally paying off. You'd think I was a gardener or something. :)

As long as I'm living here I'll be up for any conversation about shade gardening - the majority of the beds are mostly shade or limited to morning and evening light. I have ferns I don't know what to do with, where to put them or how to pair them... they are mercifully growing back in a random manner after I ripped them out as a new resident (a completely invasive weed where I came from :) I want an apple tree or two and am thinking hard about the long 8x80 foot space between the rear of the garage and the back fence.

Happiness. At first I did this because I wanted the neighbors to know I want to be a good neighbor, and a suburban house with wild weed gardens does not seem like a good neighbor... plus I enjoy flowers and they are sometimes cheap to share. Although it is still only an occasional hobby, I can now garden for the joy.

The birds have been chirping beautifully all morning, adding to the delight of discovering that I WIN this weed battle. Happiness.